the cold never bothered me anyway

the movie frozen  . It reflects an image of a strong woman who fears her power can hurt people and so decided to live in isolation . In reality people tend to live on isolation because they get hurt.  I decided to isolate myself so as not to get hurt by so many complicated social relationships.  I am as cold as Elsa as I live without compromising myself to the responsibilities of reacting to the cold storms  from people and as well as I limited my feelings to my family and friends who loves me. 
 I didn’t care for so many other people who I think are not real at all.  I experienced  the most grievous moment of my life at 42 and from then I became Elsa the queen of isolation.  I built fences of ice walls so people cannot see me.  I was contented to be invisible in this Japanese society as I fear to get hurt every time I let them in 
my world .  A filipina in japan , a gaijin.  Meaning an outsider.  For years only my works  speak the truth my desire to be free and happy away from racial descriminations mostly gaijin experience here in this country.  Individuality is not a unique quality here as they intend to cluster as groups and as a gaijin you in very unnoticeable act is an outsider.  Meaning also you will never understand them nor you understanding their so called  traditional social cultures.  But that is alright you won’t die for that reason.  Stress in the Japanese society is so popular and suicidal tendencies occur from time to time even in the adolescent and senior age.  There is a term Kodoku rojin  for old people so lonely and so stressed out they die in their homes without somebody noticing the death for days or even months until the smell spills out in the community.  This realty goes to both metropolitan cities and rural areas.   Young people choose to die than face a stressful life.  Pushed to their edges by society.  A pity I cannot make friends with them as I too feared  a stressful life.  After 15 years of my most grieving moment  I know no one can make me so sad anymore.  After the darkest moment of my life I stood in silence as I cannot speak their language as much as I can express myself in this language.    
LET IT GO
Know they know  
It’s time to see what I can do to test my limits and break through 
NO RIGHT NO WRONG 
NO RULES FOR ME  

YOU WILL NEVER SEE ME CRY

Here I stand and here I’ll stay 
LET THE STORM RAGE ON

The cold never bothered me anyway



Frozen 
alyne Oohigashi
大東アリン 

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